If you know me, or have seen any of my videos on youtube than you may know about my dwindling relationship with my Grandmother. If not then here is some background info before I get into the real event.\
****BACKGROUND****
According to my mother, when I was little I was a very interesting child. I was not greedy persay, but the fact that my fathers mother bought me everything I asked for, and did everything I asked, helped me lean into that matter. My Mom apparently told her that I would not respond well to this treatment, especially if she stopped. Well eventually of course she stopped or slowed down and from what I have heard I started to rebel. Now I do not remember being bratty to her because of my greed but I was a great deal younger than I am now.
That being said, ever since I can remember her and the way she has treated me she has been nothing but maniuplative and greedy to herself. The first memories I have of her, are of her being rude to my cousin and blaming her for something and me standing up for my cousin. I cannot remember exactly what happened but I remember that B wasn't the one who did it because she hadn't been feeling well and so I had been taking care of her in our tent.
Looking back I believe that N (my grandmother) was the actual culprit, and in fact she often is but finds herself forgetting, whether on purpose or not, a lot.
That being said I have always lived with my Mom and been a bit distant from N. Of course the fact that my father also finds her to be manipulative and unfriendly only added to that. He hasn't talked to her because he wanted to in quite some time. Although he does humour her and go over once a week for dinner. When we (Mom, my dad (step dad), siblings, and I) moved closer to where she lived after living in a completely different province, she did everything to try and see me. Which could be seen as a compliment or love except that she went way outside the boundries.
Now my father is sick, he has openly admitted it (From what I know they can not decipher what he has exactly but everything seems to make him sick) and feels that he would be happy with what he has accomploshed if he were to die tomorrow. When we first moved back to BC, N would call me and tell me that my father had cancer and was going to die in three months and I had to come stay with her and she would take care of me. Of course at this time I was in contact with my father and all three of my parents were outraged with her breach.
A few years back, when I graduated, she told me that she had set aside 20,000 for me to get my teeth done - braces and all - and I told her that I didnt want to get braces and that I didnt feel the need to. She was get mad at the fact that I had turned it away and I said that maybe I could get them bleached and use the rest of the money for school and she said that if I wasnt going to come down and get my teeth done then she would give the money to my cousin. Neither one of us has seen it at this point.
Then during my year off from school she said that she would pay for my first year of college if I came down and lived in their house. I could come down in January and house sit for them until mid February and then I would live with them from then on and house sit whn they went away. So I left my Mom's and quit my job and moved down here to where I currently am. During the next year, including when I started school, I continuously brought up the money situation and recevied different answers. When I asked her husband about it he said he had no idea that she had said anything of the sort. So I was left to confront her. So we went from paying my first year, to her claiming she had said she would just help out, then she said that helping me out was letting me stay there, then she said I should start paying rent to teach me responsibility, then she said she would pay for my books, then when she saw my books were $800 she said she would help with my books and gave me a cheque for $300 but then they went away for three months and she told me to use that money to fill the fridge instead, and I haven't heard or seen of anything since. Just recently she told me that she was broke but would pay for my Wisdom Teeth, which I figured she wouldnt so I paid by splitting it on my two credit cards and then she got mad that I had paid and came down while I was in surgery and had them refund my money so she could pay and has been harassing me about paying her back ever since. I told her that my health didnt cover it, which it sadly didnt and she has been trying to get the money from my mother's health insurance but then N said that I could have the money for my schooling but Id have to give it to her first and then she'd give it back to me. We haven't heard anything back yet from my Mom's Health but we have a feeling that it will be an empty cheque.
Finally when I went up there for dinner one day she brought up that my fifth cousin, her second cousin, that is two years younger than me happened to graduate this year. And She told her second cousin that she would pay for her first year. Needless to say I was extremely upset.
I go to my dads almost every week and play cards and he told me that I needed to stick it out in that house as long as I could because I didnt have to pay for rent ( just gas to get from there to school which is about a 20 min. drive anyway!) but that if he was healthier he would have me stay with him because he knows that N and mine's personalities clash.
& now we are up to date!
***END BACKGROUD***
So I had finally had enough. Because Alex is now officially done school I am allowed to move into the basement suite with him and continue our new life. Slowly I have been moving everything down here and I have been telling N on more than one occasion that I would be moving out to Alex's as per the plan. Well we are heading to a family get together on Alex's side of the family on thursday so last week I went up to N's house and grabbed the remainder of my clothes so that I could sort and wash and pick out everything. Well on Friday night... July 3... Alex and I went up to their house around 11pm and started packing the remainder of my stuff. I had had enough of her and we had just gotten off and I said okay lets go do this. Her husband, my grandfather was awake and I told him we were just coming to get more stuff and he nodded his head and we had a little convoish thing and then started upstairs to my semi room.
See earlier on Thursday N had asked if someone could come stay in my room and I said sure since I wouldnt be there any way. Well that had me thinking that my walls are covered in pictures of me and my friends from over the years and I felt a little eerie about someone I didnt know sleeping in my room with all my stuff which is another reason why we went up there.
So Alex and I packed everything up and now 95% of my stuff is here in our little basement. I left a few suitcases (2-4) in the window seat but they are packed and besides that nothing else is there. I had to leave a few because it didnt feel right taking everything without a conversation and there wasnt enough room in my car.
Saturday comes along and I havent had a chance to talk to anyone yet about me officially moving out and N calls my in-laws, who bring a phone down to me. She is in a ruckus and asks me if I have been there and I said no and she goes off about how someone broke into their house while they were gone and everything has been thrown everywhere and her clothes are all over her bed and she keeps saying: Did you go in my room? Did you go in my closet?
And I just kept saying we havent been there today but are you ok? Is Grandfather ok? Is anything broken or missing? Have you called the cops yet? You know, standard questions.
Believe it or not I was concerned that the guy may still be in the house.
She said she hadnt called the police because she wanted to see if it was me, and I kept telling to hang up and call the police so they can get prints and what not and she keeps cutting me off and saying that she is hurt. And I am thinking that she was shot or something and so I ask her whats wrong and she proceeds to go off about how she feels like dirt because all of my stuff is gone and she knows that I was there at 1 in the morning emptying my room. And I said "I have been telling you for quite some time that I was leaving, and I have been slowly taking my stuff" and she gets all mad at me and says that I told her six months ago.
WELL NO - She invited me out for lunch a few weeks ago, claimed to have forgotten her wallet, then when I said I was broke and couldnt afford the expensive restraunt she picked, she magically found some cash under her car seat. I told her then and numerous times prior, that I was moving into Alex's basement.
Well I pointed that out and again she cuts me off and says well how do his parents feel about this and I told her that we are adults and that we are renting the basement suite. Well she didnt like that. She went off on me. And I told her that I would be up there to get the rest of my stuff soon, and that I packed it all up now because I did not feel comfortable with someone riffling through my stuff (Like I caught her doing, and reading my private journal not an internet blog but of course I didnt say this to her) And she said but you said ok! and I said I know I said ok, because its your house and I knew that I was going to start packing this week, I just didnt know when until now.
I kept trying to change the subject about her break in and she kept trying to guilt trip me so I eventually aid goodbye and hung up.
I called my mother. And told her the situation and asked if I should go up there or not. Part of me wanted to go up there and make sure that my family and the house was safe but the other part had a gut instinct that if I went up there then that was exactly what she wanted and she would corner me. So I told Mom, and she said that my instinct was right and that if I went up there then I should take Alex. Well I didnt want to take Alex because then he would get sucked into the argument too so we decided I wouldnt go up to the house. Well because I wasn't on the phone with my Mom for that I long I asked Alex if he would drive me up to their house just to see if their was a cop car there. I had him drive incase N was looking for my car. So we drove up to their lovely suburban neighborhood, drove around their big house, and was their a cop car? Nope. Any sort of security people or emergency crews or anything like that? Nope. Infact it had just gotten dark and they did not even have their lights on. Their outside lights, or their motion lights. Now if you just got broken into, would you have all your lights off?
Needless to say it was a great ordeal.
I emailed her later that night and said that I was under the impression that she was aware that I was leaving and that I did not intentionally go home and remove my stuff to get back at her or make her feel small. I also said that we could go for lunch if she wanted to call me and set a time before my work hours (which I included) and she never returned my call/email. In fact she phoned today right before I was leaving for work and said "Well I guess we arent going for coffee to discuss this." ARG I told her we could go for coffee when I get back and that at that time I would come retrieve the rest of my stuff. She said that I could leave stuff there, however, because she has decided to not have anyone stay in my room. Ya, right.
Im so fed up with her that if she evensets one foot over my personal boundary when we are out for coffee I will snap. I cant deal with this any more.
Anyways - thanks for letting me get this all off my chest!
Best Wishes!!
Mrs. A. Squared
