January 14, 2010

English Class

There is a particular fear of mine,
that you might know,
of saying things and dreading them after.

It happens on occasion,
like at my best friends wedding,
when you think it will work,
and it doesnt.

Sometimes you think that no one will notice,
and others it sticks,

In this particular case I feel like I have officially singled myself out as
the youngest
most immature
in the room.

I know that that isnt necessarily true.
but at the same time it is that feeling that is present more than anything

It has significant following and builds
fluently through the embracement of the lac of mainstream.

I am asked to write about an article, and about a school.
My school experience and it seems as though the only ones I could write about
is highschool, where it seems as though the idea of writing or even mentioning high school
in this class is vito.
Which is ironic because this class is about stepping outside the traditional bylaws of education.
Oppression of the Pedagogy by Paolo Friere.
Pushing out ward and questioning why there are such boxes or concrete concepts of what we should or should not do.

  • A- Alex just said that he was a bit younger then her but he felt the same
  • and I yelled ouch, not thinking, and rebekah hit me, Embrassed slightly
  • Other - Hi rebecca
  • A - I feel more socially awkward and self-conscious everytime I enter this class
  • OTher - Why's that
  • A - my self confidence diminishes. I just feel like I do not know as much as I should. I shouldnt have said anything an dI did. another agist mistake
  • OTher - I'm probably not going to do many of the readings. I hardly have time
  • A - Thats not what I mean. I mean that I have less experience than the seasoned people in this room the ones who have had more experience with Jake and with Engl
  • Other - You've had a lot of exp with Jake haven't you
  • A - I dont know. My shell is cracking. but whatever. I dont mind being the nerd at the back of the class
  • Other - Your shell is cracking? Jeeze amy, a couple more lines and you've got quite the poetic piece there.
  • A - Im emotionally detached. You should know that by now. Perhaps not. No one really knows just Amy. But never the less, the words are bitter and dramatic
I feel as if I am in high school again.
Sitting near the end.
I just write the way I write... being put on the spot frightens me.