January 22, 2011

Uprooted

So a lot has changed since my last post.

My boyfriend decided he didn't want to be with me anymore, and has already found someone else to chase. I have had to move out and ultimately leave everything because I didn't believe I could afford it. Moved back to a place I thought could feel safe and I don't feel safe here either.

I'm not one-hundred percent sure where I stand anywhere anymore. Job, Love, Life, School. I have so much that I want to do and I am lost. Its not that I want my cake and I want to eat it to. I just want something and it doesn't even have to be cake.
I'll settle. But then maybe that's another problem the fact that I am willing to settle when truth is I deserve every piece of cake I want. I have put up with so much and gone through so much in the last little while why don't I deserve to be happy.

Where is a knight of any kind. I will settle for not so shiny armor if that's what it takes. I want to be happy again. I want to know where I stand and I want to be on my own. What I don't want is to be here, surrounded by snow, hoping that I will wake up and forget all of this. Forget being unhappy. Forget Snow. Forget financial problems. I need to get my own place and stabilize my well-being. Grow an immunity to these sorts of situations, at least for the time being.